Rabu, 31 Agustus 2011

photographs - rihanna

Hey guys! Minal aidin walfaidzin ya maaf kalo ngegalau mulu heheheheh:D btw tadi gue iseng kan ngebuka box yang isinya foto2 gue sama sang....mantan. Gue jadi kepikiran dia lagi karena omongan tante gue tadi, iyasih nyelekit jadi merasa bersalah gue but anyway...what has done cannot be undone, aight? Yaudsss tadi gue ngebuka boxnya sambil dengerin lagu di itouch eh ga sengaja ke shuffle lagu photographsnya rihanna....sedih gue ngeliatnya, by the way here's the lyrics...



Here's a little story I've gotta tell
'Bout this boy I know so well
Back in the day was cool and all
Fell in love, I fell in love

Thought he was the one for me
Other boys I could not see
And look what happened to our love
I'm like, how could it be?

It should have been me and you
It could have been you and me
But boy, you broke my heart and now I'm standing here
It should have been me and you
It could have been you and me
Now I look at all these photographs

All I've got, all I've got
All I've got are these photographs
All I've got, all I've got
Is nothing without you

You, you
Got nothing without you
You, you
Got nothing without you

Now baby, it's killing me
I'm saying it's killing me
The fact that you went around
Baby, I'm falling down
I need me a remedy
Been looking for remedies
I need you to be around

Baby, I'm hurting now
I know you're a better man
When I was your girl
This land is a better land
When you're in my world
Today will be better, babe
If it were like yesterday
So happy and lovely, hey, hey, hey

All I've got, all I've got
All I've got are these photographs
All I've got, all I've got
Is nothing without you

You, you
Got nothing without you
You, you
Got nothing without you

All I've got are these photographs
I remember when I used to make you laugh
I don't wanna be stuck in the past
But you're all that I have that I had

And I don't wanna lose what we built this far
This is me and you, you're my superstar
I'd give anything, baby, here's my heart
My heart, my heart

My heart don't stop, my heart be beating over
My loving never stop, even though that it's over
Girl, I've been reminiscing when I play that Casanova
Way back when we was kissing on your grand-mama's sofa

Girl I got us lovey-dovey on my photo album
I got them pictures back when I was rocking Calvin Klein
You had your Guess jeans on, looking sexy
Oh home girl, why could it not be the one?

Why? Why? Why?
(I am not the one)
Why? Why? Why?
(Why couldn't you be the one?)
Why? Why? Why?
(Why couldn't you be the one?)
Why? Why? Why?

All I've got, all I've got
Is nothing without you
All I've got, all I've got
Is nothing without you

You, you
Is nothing without you
You, you
Is nothing without you

All I've got, is nothing without
All I've got, is nothing without
All I've got, all I've got are these photographs





Toodles! ,
Risha

Selasa, 30 Agustus 2011

3-|

Mau sampe kapan ya Allah:'(

Masa subuh2 missed call gue 3x. Terus bbm gue "slamat sahurr". Terus nelfon gue minal aidin lalala dan masih comment2 foto gue di fb sama cowok....terus masih bbm gue make hug, masih manggil gue catwomen :'( aaaaaaa stop doooong gue tambah sayang sama lo udah dong udaaaaah

Mana tadi status gue ":(" terus disapa "knape sedih" gue jawab "gapapa" terus dibales "smangat! Bsk mau lebaran jg!" Gue jawab "insya Allah" (⌣́˛⌣̀) gimana mau semangat kalo seharusnya gue setiap hari lagi crita2 sama lo?

Gue capek tau ga, ga bbman sama lo kayak kita dulu. Gue capek banget ngeliat lo seneng sama yang lain sedangkan gue sedih2 mau move on tapi susahnya ya ampunnnn :( lo kenapa sih masih merhatiin gue? Oke lo maksud baik, kenapa sih gue masih pengen berharap lebih?

Njir sha labil bgt kemaren bilang semangat move on sekarang....gila ya, lo masih aja muncul2 di mimpi gue:( sayang banget gue sama lo pengen rasanya bbm

"Le, udah dong kaya gini:( udah dong cuek2annya udah dong stop dong bikin sama2 jealous kayak gini aku capek:( aku sayang banget sama kamu udah dong stop nyakitin aku. Aku tau aku salah tapi udah dong apa gabisa kita baik2 kayak dulu lagi? Aku kangen banget sama kamu aku kangen sama kita yang dulu:( kita udah mau setahun mungkin ini masa2 jenuh kita maklumin aja lah kita cuma butuh waktu sendiri2 gaperlu putus sampe kamu udah ada pengganti juga:( aku mau kita baik2 aja aku masih mau usaha buat kayak dulu lagi cuma aku udah gatau gimana jalan pikiran kamu:( udah dong stop dong kayak gininya aku juga mau move on tapi kenapa kamu kayak gini sih? Aku udah mulai cuek kamu yang perhatian:( udah dong udah aku sayang bangeeeeeet sama kamu udah dong le stop please:'("

Oke...too much :( maap yak gue curhat mulu. Ini udah mendingan kok cuma sedih karena kangen aja cuma udah ga ngarep balikan lagi. Life must go on. Dia udh milih jalannya, gue juga harus milih jalan gue.





Toodles! ,
Risha

Senin, 29 Agustus 2011

nyelekit.

Faiz udah frontal banget dengan hubungannya sama cewek itu. Nulis2 di twitter terus nulis nama dia di pm. Gila. Ini bener2 gila.

Dia gapernah stop nyalah2in gue. Gue emang salah at least gue mengakui, tapi kenapa dia ga bisa ngaca? Apa dia ga sadar balesan dia ke gue itu udah..too much?

Gue emang udah gapunya harga diri. Ngebegging cowok yang jelas2 menolak dan ngedorong gue lebih jauh. Dia mau gue untuk ga ganggu hubungan dia sama cewek itu. Ya ampun, gue ga kuat sumpah:')

Udah mau setahun. 9 oktober 2011 nanti gue seharusnya setahunan. Tanggalnya bagus ya 91011? Gue takut pada tanggal itu dia nembak cewek itu. Kalo misalnya jadian....gue gatau deh apa yang harus gue lakuin selanjutnya. Ga gampang ngelepasin orang yang udah bener2 nyatu di kehidupan lo selama 10 bulan lebih demi orang baru

Waktu, iklim, perasaan, wujud, pikiran..semuanya bisa berubah dalam waktu sedetik. Dia boleh ketawa karena gue udah menderita banget kayak gini. Tapi dia harus inget, setiap orang diberi hukuman 2x lipat dari Allah atas perbuatan mereka sebelumnya. Jujur aja gue kena karma, gue janji ga bakal gini lagi. Tapi dia? Hhhh mikirin besok gue masih idup aja engga (⌣́˛⌣̀)



Toodles! ,
Risha

Minggu, 28 Agustus 2011

Bismillah..

hey all!!!

abis galau nih, faiz mengaku dia suka sama si *peep* ah yasudahlah yang penting faiz bahagia. sorry tidak mengganggu kok tapi kenapa ya feeling gue kalo misalnya jadi tuh ga langgeng? udah sha stop ngegalaunya!!!

hnggg pengen cepet2 masuk sekolah biar bisa temu kangen sama semua temen2 gueee yang selalu setia setiap saat menghibur gue!!! makasih banget kepada manusia2 gila yang tadi ke rumah gue bikin gue nangis2 ketawa....aneh tapi kocak jadinya, mereka mengajarkan gue untuk berfikiran dalam sudut pandang lelaki (iyelah orang mereka cowok) -____-

ya intinya gue harus ikhlasin, just let him go and find another happiness :) mungkin faiz jenuh kali ya sama sifat gue dan gue harus introspeksi diri juga lah mungkin emang kenyataannya kalo putus itu pilihan terbaik buat berdua. lagian, perjalanan hidup kita semua masih panjang kan? :)

masih sayang sih, banget bangetaaaan cuma yaudah deh disimpen aja rasa sayangnya :) gue ga akan move on make cowok baru kok:) sorry im not that kind of girl. gue biasanya move on memakai.....gatau -_- gue sama mantan biasanya jijik tapi sekarang kagak hahahah labil. banget.

anywayyy gue pengen liat dia jadian, seunyu apa sih? ck shaaa sha masih kepo aja. oke stop. gue masih inget tuh janji dia pas gue kerumah dia "inget ya, kamu punyaku aku punyamu" and then he gave me a warm hug...sweet:") yaaaa kalo jodoh juga pasti Allah mengatur waktu, tempat, dan cerita untuk gue ketemu lagi di masa depan sama faiz.

apaan sih gue berasa mau bikin film how i met your mother -_- ih pengen deh jadi barney stinson bisa banget ya playernya without any heart broken! amazing banget dah pengen punya pacar se cool dia B-)




toodles! ,
risha

Sabtu, 27 Agustus 2011

exhausted

Hey all

Gue capek....capek ngarep deh sumpah :( tapi gamau nyerah! Tapi kenyataan berkata lain:( gue kayanya udah mulai sakit2an gini deh ngeri banget gue galauin mantan sampe sakit.

Dari kemaren muntah2 terus, dan tadi muntah cuma darah gitu....takut deh. Dia main tarik ulur terus sama gue, gatau harus ngapain lagi. Sebentar bikin ngefly abis itu ngejatohin gue. Capek gue tiap hari dimainin kayak gini...tapi tetep sayang:(

Dan sekarang gue udah 1 jam lebih nyoba nelfonin cuma terus2an busy. Pusing kepala gue sumpah tapi yang sebelah kanan. Gila ga sehat banget gue kalo tiap hari kaya gini. Makan udh ga teratur dan dikit bgt sumpah, muntah2 terus tiap hari, pusing2 terus lah, dan yang paling parah.....ngeliatin ke layar hp menunggu keajaiban

Gaenak sumpah ngarepinnya. Bego sih gue cewek kok ngarep ya? Tapi kalo sayangnya udah beda susah sih, gue baru kali ini sampe segininya sama cowok. Sekarang gue ngetik gabisa napas sumpah pusing pala gue kepikirin dia mulu. Tiap bangun tidur rasanya masih hampa aja masih ada yang nyelekit.

Gue rasanya pengen robek perut gue terus liat apa sih yang bikin sesek biar gue buang. Gue pengen nyuci otak gue buat buang semua memori gue sama dia. Tapi gabisa, dan ga akan pernah bisa. Gue capek mikirin orang yang gapernah mikirin gue. Dia ga sadar seberapa besar pengorbanan gue buat lindungin dia.

Oke. Gue bukan cewek pamrih, at least hargain lah sedikiiiiit aja. Gue masih perhatian walaupun dia gapernah minta, gue masih kepikiran walaupun dia udah move on, gue masih belain dia walaupun semua orang ngomongin hal buruk tentang dia, gue masih siapin tangan buat nyiapin diri kalo dia terjatuh. Gue akan selalu ada buat dia. Itu yang gue capek, sampe kapan sha?



Toodles! ,
Risha

Kamis, 25 Agustus 2011

sebenernya semingguannya tuh kemaren...

seminggu setelah kau pergi
teman silih berganti menghiburku
berkata semua teratasi
kan terus sembunyi di balik senyum palsu
ku dengar dirimu tak sendiri lagi
betapa hancurnya hati jiwaku

setahun setelah kau pergi
ku masih sembunyi di balik senyum palsu

ku dengar dirimu tak sendiri lagi
betapa hancurnya hati jiwaku
betapa hancurnya, na na na na naaa

tolong bantu aku melewati semua, uuu

Betapa - Sheila on 7




Toodles! ,
Risha

Rabu, 24 Agustus 2011

moving on in progress

Hey all! Baru balik nih dari latian cheers :D

Tadi pagi gue ga sengaja kebangun pagi. Gue suka gitu deh tidur malem bgt bangun pagi2 gituuu soalnya kepikiran sama mimpiin faiz terus:( bangun2 tuh ya rasanya nyesekkkkk banget udah sabar aja gue terus yaudah kan mandi siap2 buat latian cheers di sekolah

Pas gue nyampe terus ga beberapa lama mahda dateng, terus gue curhat deh ga sengaja nangis lagi:( masa katanya gue kurusan...iyalah orang jarang makan gara2 galau sabar aja deh gue. Semalem tuh gue ngirim vn ke temen gue gitu nyanyi lagu never again - justin timberlake, katanya suara gue bagus!! Yes abis mendalami banget parrrrah gue nyanyi hampir nangis

Ya intinya dari awal gue putus sampe sekarang, semua temen2 gue ngedukung gue buat melupakan semua hal yang menyakitkan. Ga ada yang nyuruh gue benci sama faiz kok:) gue boleh sayang sama dia tapi gue harus move on juga! Gue seneng banget semalem dikirimin foto sama alya tulisannya "stay strong irisha" terus ada kiss gitu hehhe aduuuuh sayang banget gue sama semua temen gue. Temen smp lah, temen sma lah mereka selalu ada buat gue gitu....ya ampun terharu deh gue ternyata masih banyak banget orang yang sayang sama gue. Mau cewek sama cowok nasehatin gue kalo ga baik gue terus2an bilang mau mati aja, kata mereka "kita sayang lo sha, tenang aja sha! We'll always got your back!" How sweet:')

Nah sekarang gue mau menghindari hal2 yang ngingetin gue ke faiz. Berat banget parah gitu. Cuma gue satu2nya orang yang ngedukung diri gue sendiri buat balikan.....so sad (˘̩̩̩⌣˘̩̩̩ƪ) ya gue tetep aja gamau nyumpahin faiz aneh2 karena gue sayaaaaaaaaaang banget sama faiz ({}) sebenernya gue yakin gue masih bisa balikan tapi yaudah lah perjalanan hidup gue masih panjang, jodoh juga ga ada yang tau kan? Siapa tau jodoh gue faiz! Amin amin amiiiiin





Toodles! ,
Risha

Selasa, 23 Agustus 2011

gotcha!

Faiz selingkuh. Yaudahlah ya udh kebaca kok. Dia deket sama cewek ini 2 mingguan otpan mulu tiap hari. Biarin aja deh mungkin ini yang bisa bikin faiz seneng:)

Gue sih ga cemburu, ya buat apa dia sama gue ga bahagia? Gue cuma berharap ini cewek ga ngecewain faiz, sayang sama dia terus bisa langgeng :) gue gamau nyumpahin faiz karena gue emang sayangggg banget sama dia

Susah sih buat nerima kenyataan cuma apa yang lebih indah daripada mengikhlaskan? Lagian gue udah having a lot of good times sama faiz :) he's the best!!! Semoga dia bahagiaaaa gue mau faiz bahagia :) gunduleleku sudah move on hehhehe

Yaudah deh gamau lanjut lagi, takut nangis keinget :) masih sayang banget nih...gawat....#np Mudah Saja - Sheila on 7...ga deng lebay tapi gue seneng faiz akhirnya bisa bahagia :') gue emang gapernah bisa menjadi yang terbaik buat dia





Toodles! ,
Risha

Senin, 22 Agustus 2011

4 days...

Hey, udah 4 hari gue nangis dari bangun pagi sampe ketiduran. Susah nerima kenyataan kalo gue udah putus sama faiz. Gue sayang paraaaaah sama faiz dan mungkin gue satu satunya cewek yang anggep faiz mantan terindah...iyalah orang mereka bego gabisa bikin faiz klepek klepek HAHA canda.

Bisa gila gue nangisin dia mulu...ampe tadi gue roll depan sambil nangis di apartment vicky HAHAHA anak gila. Aduh gimana nih pengen nangis lagi :' faiz gamau balikan.............................rasanya pengen terjun ke kali ciliwung.. Oke ga elit hmmmm brooklyn bridge deh.

Waktu minggu: gue kan vilmer, terus sepanjang vilmer gue chat sama faiz ga kuat akhirnya nangis...jir malu bgt vania diem doaaang terus pas pulang dia bbm "sha maaf ya tadi gue cuma bisa diem doang, gatega gue sha ngeliat lo" terus sepanjang 4 hari gue cuma bisa ngurung diri di kamar dengerin lagu galau...alamat bunuh diri

Terus tadi gue ga sekolah ga kuat bangun, pagi pagi kerasanya kosong. Kehilangan. Gue nangis lagi, gimana ya..gue soalnya gapernah kayak gini sama mantan terus di pi gue nangis ampe tata esti sama vicky diem aja, di apt vicky....udah total gue nangisnya makin ga tega aja mereka ngeliat gue. Teman yang baik membiarkan gue menangis dan dengerin uneg uneg gue :')

Terus oiya! Tadi pagi gue nelfon dito, anjiiiir makin banjir hmm secara dia cowok ya pasti dia ngerti faiz gimana cuma....gila gue masih ga nyangka banget gue putus final sama dia ya maksud gue..siapa sih yang nyangka? Semua orang yang denger aja juga kaget..apalagi gue?

Sekarang gue udah ga ngomong lagi sama dia, gue kangen semua hal yang gue sering lakuin sama dia. Semua vnnya gue dengerin...semua video alay isengan gue sama dia gue tonton. Gue gatau harus gimana, gue gamau move on. Ga akan. Biarin aja dia move on tapi gue gamau...gue sayang banget sama faiz:( mata gue udah bengkak banget parrrrrah makin males makan kepala udah begah banget pusing ga nanggung tidur aja gabisa saking pusingnya..

Gue cuma bisa berharap yang terbaik aja, kalo emang ini jalannya yaudah dengan seiring waktu berjalan gue pasti akan bisa menerima walaupun berat bagi gue. Nyokap gue juga ga tega sama gue adek gue juga...perhatian sekali :')
Baru kali ini diperhatiin adek gue, masa dia ngomong ke sodara gue "aku ga tega deh sama mbak ting, dia dari kemaren nangis terus di kamar gamau keluar gamau makan" (⌣́˛⌣̀) mau mati rasanya.



Toodles! ,
Risha

Sabtu, 20 Agustus 2011

Galau time

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt



Toodles! ,
Risha

Jumat, 19 Agustus 2011

is it the time?

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't post anything, and now I wanna share something that really clouding up in my head since 2 days ago.

Well, I broke up with my boyfriend. He dumped me. That's the worst thing. Aaaand I can't get over him :'D I love him more than much, more than him. I love him more than i love myself.

Being together with him for over 10 months is the greatest gift that God had planned me to heal my broken heart (read my post on july-sept 2010..what a shame). He's more than a boyfriend that everyone could ever imagine. He's my bestfriend, my father, my brother, my son, and he meant everything to me. Losing him feels like half of my breath were taken away.

And now I'm a bit stressed out, because I've never imagine how my life would be without him. Now I'm in this situation so yea, I'm screwed. I lost 6 pounds. I never wanna eat since then. Well not necessary, just 5 spoons of rice and stuffs then I go back to bed. I listened to all of my sadsong in my BigMac and sing it out loud like nobody noticed me.

I just hope everything will be back to normal. Ughh I hate myself! Okay....I need to be alone now, gbye!


Toodles! ,
Risha